Jeremiah's adoption story

While Jeremiah is our youngest child, he was the first of our children to join our family.

We had tried adopting a baby domestically but it only resulted in two failed adoptions.

We finally felt led to Haiti and began the adoption process for Gracie and Samuel.

In the meantime, the story of Jeremiah was unfolding.

Jeremiah’s birth mother was a member of our youth program at church when Lila was serving in there as a leader. His birth mom was 14 and pregnant. The Bishop was going to talk to her about placing the baby for adoption. The situation was not a good one and at this point, all we could do was offer her some options and hope for the best.

I (Lila) told James I thought I should go talk to the Bishop and tell him we would be interested in adopting the baby if she chose adoption. He agreed but the next day our phone rang and we were matched with another birth mom. Someone else had chosen adoption for their baby and she had chosen us to be the parents of her baby. I never spoke to the Bishop and heard through the grapevine Jeremiah’s birth mom had her baby in December.

The baby we were adopting was due in February. Two weeks before the due date we received the news that the Mom had changed her mind and would be parenting the baby herself. We were heartbroken.

A week later I went to church. In walked Jeremiah’s grandmother with Jeremiah wrapped up in her arms. I purposely walked by to get a peek of the little guy. He was beautiful. Truly. I remember regret. Regret that he wasn’t my son, regret that I never spoke to the Bishop. I shrugged it off. I was mourning our baby and besides, Jeremiah’s birth mom did not choose adoption so he wouldn’t have been our son anyway.

Now, four years later, I see that moment as a tender mercy. I have no pictures of him as a newborn but I cling to the one in my memory. There he was, little Jeremiah, completely innocent, wearing blue, curled up in his grandma’s arms at 8 or 9 weeks old. I try to burn the image in my mind so I never forget what baby Jeremiah looked like.

Two years later, I was serving in the church nursery. One Sunday, out of the blue, Jeremiah and his grandmother came to church. She dropped him off in the nursery. He toddled up to me with arms outstretched and those gorgeous brown eyes asking me to pick him up. I did. I held him/carried him for the remainder of the two hours. He sat on my lap. He nestled in perfectly. I breathed in the scent of his hair. I wished once again that he was my son. But he wasn’t. Church was over much too quickly that day and I said good-bye to the little guy.

A year later we got the email that changed our life. The email simply stated that there was a member of our church that a needed a place to stay for a few days. The child was 3 years old. The minute I read it, I knew it was Jeremiah. The email didn’t say if it was a boy or a girl and didn’t include the name of the child but I knew it was him. I felt a great urgency to respond to that email right at that moment. It was early in the morning. James was sound asleep. I didn’t even wake him to see if this arrangement was ok with him. I responded to the email with an adamant yes.

At about 8:30 that morning my phone rang. It was Cynthia, a friend of Jeremiah’s family, and she currently had Jeremiah. She called him by name and I smiled. I was right. It was him. She was going to send our contact information to the worker overseeing the case and wanted to make sure I would be by the phone. I told her I would.

Thirty minutes later my phone rang. It was the case worker. They had a few questions and needed to run a background check. When could they bring Jeremiah to the house? Were we interested in adopting him?

What? My mind was swimming.

Again, I had not even talked to James but yes, we would be interested in adoption. Was that an option? The worker said we would discuss it later when they brought Jeremiah to the house. We agreed on a time and I gave him directions to our house.

The day we met Jeremiah was surreal. He came bounding out of the car waving and saying hello. That’s Jeremiah-he has never known a stranger. His mother and grandmother followed behind. Cynthia, the family friend and former caregiver was with them as was her husband and the case worker. Our living room filled up quickly. After introductions James, the case worker, and Cynthia all walked outside to “talk”. I was left with Cynthia’s husband who didn’t speak English and Jeremiah’s birth mother and grandmother. It was a bit awkward. I offered them all something to drink. They simply said no. I twiddled my thumbs wondering what to do next. I asked Jeremiah if he wanted to get some toys out. He did so all 5 of us tromped back to Samuel and Gracie’s unoccupied room and opened up the toy box.

Finally, the group from outside came inside. The case worker looked at Jeremiah’s birth mother and said, “What do you think?” “Yes. I like them.” The case worker looked at us and said, “Okay, the plan is adoption. He has to be in your home for 6 months and then you can finalize.”

We couldn’t believe it. After all this time, Jeremiah was going to be our son.

We have enjoyed every minute of being Jeremiah's parents.

We keep in contact with his birth mom and send her packages and updated pictures twice a year. We will always be grateful for her decision to place Jeremiah in our family.